Uncomfortable Crash
by Magic Wolfy
Summary: The sugar ruchers are racing for the roster as they usually do. Calhoun Felix and Ralph are there to watch. But something happens, and the kids need help. Preferably before Vanellope and Taffyta rip each other apart... One shot. Ive had this written for WEEKS now but never posted it. It will not be continued... Like I said... ONE SHOT


So it was just another day, or maybe it wasn't, either way, it was sunday and the Random Roster Race was being held in the morning on this fine day in sugar rush (president Vanellope Von Schweetz had decided it was a better use of everyone's time to do it in the morning, so as to save time on the arcade's day off)

This particular morning Ralph and the married couple had been invited to watch the race. It was getting pretty intense, power ups here and there, and racers flashing across the screen for a mere second just to end up half a mile away the next second. Ralph was enjoying watching his little buddy on the big screen, he always enjoyed watching the Random Roster Race when he got the chance. But he hadn't ever assumed that something would go wrong during one of these happy adrenaline filled events.

However, something did go wrong. As every single racer neared the top of the mountain, the lead racer, which just so happened to be none other than Vanellope Von Schweetz, noticed an impassible rock slide that had left a huge pile of rock candy just dead ahead, creating an obstacle that was not supposed to be there in the form of a rock wall. As she skidded to a halt, the racer just behind her, Taffyta Muttonfudge, unfortunately was unable to hit her breaks in time not to collide with the lead racer. The rest of the racers followed suit, until the force of each collision sent all of the young candy children toppling off the edge of the cliff. Landing in a huge heap of karts and kids at the bottom of the rock candy mountain.

Ralph, Felix, and Sgt. Calhoun all raced to the scene as fast as they could. Thank the heavens that Calhoun had been there to witness the accident, considering her military background. She was used to this kind of stuff, rescuing was what she did. Upon arrival, the first thing she did was analyse the damage and the situation. It looked as if all of the children were fine, although they were stuck and tangled amongst themselves and their karts, most of them moaning and groaning, a few of them sobbing lightly in pain. Though there were a few, who after the initial shock, had taken a different approach on the situation.

Vanellope groggily opened her eyes, groaning slightly as her eyes started to focus. She was in the direct middle of all the wreckage, her arms and legs woven around others of the various characters in the game, and a couple karts on either side of her, as well as on on top of her. She couldn't move. But when she opened her eyes, and they focused on what was directly in front of her, they popped open about as wide as they could in realization of what she was staring at.

"Taffyta!"

Taffyta's eyes grew wide with the scream of her name as she tried in vain to turn her head to see who had shouted at her so angrily.

"Get your BUTT outa my FACE!" Vanellope yelled. Taffyta looked cross at this, yelling back whole heartedly.

"Get your FACE outa my BUTT!"

"Stop yelling in my ear!" Candlehead whined, who's head was positioned right beside Taffyta's. The candle atop her head was just about burning Taffyta's skin to a crisp, so, even though she knew it would upset her friend, she blew out the flame.

"Hey!" Yelled Candlehead, then she began to sob again.

"Alright, alright!" Calhoun yelled "stop yer cryin'... We'll get cha outa here"

Some of the kids stopped completely, some of them still whimpered a little bit, but the huffy ones stayed as they were. There was no changing the situation for ones such as Vanellope and Taffyta, who were in the unfortunate circumstance of being stuck in close quarters with the wrong end of the other... Or at least Vanellope did. Taffyta wasn't exactly happy with Vanellope's close proximity to her rear end though.

Ralph walked up to one of the karts on top, happening to be Candlehead's, and grabbed it by the candles to try and ease it off. Unfortunately when he did so the rest of the wreckage started to shift and tuble. The kids winced and a few screamed, but luckily none were hurt, and the pile stayed as it was in the first place, with very little of a shift in the position of either the karts nor the racers.

"Don't touch anything wreck it. If you move the wrong kart your gonna bring the entire pile craching down on all these little sugar monsters. Not to mention the fact that you can't go a second without destroying something. Just leave the rescuing to the hero, got it?" Calhoun asked strictly. Ralph looked a little upset and hurt, but understood, and stood down. Watching as both Calhoun and Felix observed and examined the wreckage from all angles.

Felix let out a low whistle "This is some jam you munchkins have gotten yourselves into here... Bet its pretty uncomfortable"

"Yeah, and you know whats even more uncomfortable? My fudgin' view! Taffyta, seriously, move your rumpus!" Vanellope called in annoyence.

"Vanellope, seriously" Taffyta called back in a mocking tone, mimicking Vanellope "suck it up!"

"Ewww, Taffy, you perv, I don't want to!"

"Ugh! Not like that! You have a sick mind Vanellope, just shut your trap!"

"Would you two shut up!" Yelled Rancis, who was clearly getting annoyed. He didn't have the best position either. He was on the bottom of the pile, all limbs held down by something or other so he couldn't move, his hair was tousled and all in his face, his cute little kiss curl all frizzy and flailed about.

"Come on Vanellope, I know you don't like your current situation, but we can't get you out of it if you keep acting up" Ralph soothed.

Vanellope huffed and went quiet. Felix walked over to a squirimg Crumbalina and put a hand on her shoulder. The girl stopped squirming and looked up at him.

"Hmm. You seem like your almost free there" He mused.

"Yeah, I just need to get my foot loose" Crumbalina responded.

"Now hold on before you do that, don't want the entire pile falling over on all of you... But you know what? If we can get you outa here, without the pile tumbling over of course, then we could get little miss Jubileena here out too, after that we could free Gloyd, and then Poor mr Rancis down there... Yes, its like a puzzle, and I think we just figured it out! All we need is a way to get you out without that kart over your head coming down on ya"

"No problem" Ralph chimed. He walked over, putting his hand under the kart over Crumbalina, and the rest of his arms and other hand under surrounding karts to stop them from caving in as well "Just wiggle her lose, I'll control the rest of the pile"

Felix turned to Calhoun, who had walked to his side to get a good look at what he was talking about "Do you think this is a good idea Tammy?"

"I think its a fine idea" Calhoun replied, keeping her eye on the pile of racers and karts "if the junk pile here can keep all this from going kaput on top of the little sugar monsters then it should be all good"

With that Felix gave a smile and started gently working Crumbalina's foot free. Once that was done, the rest of the racers were easily out. With every racer that was freed Ralph had a harder time keeping everything from falling. But he managed. As Vanellope scooted her way out backward and Taffyta hopped out aswell, Ralph let the pile of what was now just karts tumble to the ground.

"Well, there you go little darlings, all free. How ya feelin?" Felix addressed all the racers.

"A lot better now that someone's fat tush is outa the way" Vanellope was the first to speak. Pointing an accusing thumb over her shoulder at Taffyta, who gained an offended look.

"My tush isn't fat..." Taffyta grumbled, rubbing her bum as if it had been hit and then twisting to look at it.

Vanellope looked over to a self concious looking Taffyta, ready to spit out a retort, but upon seeing her face, thought otherwise.

"Awww, c'mon Taffy, don't go all un-confident on me now" then she mumbled "I was jus' playin'" she averted her eyes.

"Alright you two, that's enough" Calhoun interjected before the two could squabble " the race track has re-spawned and this race needs to be finished if you guys are ever going to be able to be played in gameplay tomorrow when the arcade opens"

With that all the kids ran to their karts (which Ralph had turned right side over and Felix had fixed up) and began the race again.

"See ya at the finish line, Fat Rump!" Vanellope yelled at Taffyta before zooming off.

Taffyta scowled at her and sped off after her, shouting in response "_what _is your sick obsession with my rear end!"

As Taffyta zoomed past vanellope she smirked her way and threw another witty comback at her before moving ahead to take first place

"If your _so_ obsessed with my rear end Vanellope, why don't you take a good long look!"

Vanellope smirked as Taffyta moved ahead of her, pressing the gas pedal a little harder.

_**A/N: this has been something I have been meaning to post for weeks now. It has nothing to do with any of my other stories but those chapters will come soon... Got two already done for Candy hearts (one just needs to be typed) and another epic story on the way... Oh! and you guys can decide on weather or not I end up writing a REALLY epic story that I have all in mind, I just need to put into words. All you have to do is.**_

_**VOTE ON THE POLL ON MY PROFILE!**_


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